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terminal_echoes  wrote:
[19 May 2008|01:36pm]
One of my New Years resolutions was to stop being so judgemental and elitist, because I don't deserve to be. However yesterday, something happened that made my resolution a bit...well shit, I'll just tell you what happened.

I was walking out of Subway with my lunch. As I was walking down the sidewalk to my car, something that I can only describe as a Hood Rat was walking in my direction. Her hair was in corn rows, her teeth were huge, her lips stuck out about three inches in front of her face, she was smoking a cigar, wearing a brilliant pink tank top which either made her skin appear to be blacker than it was (or maybe it was her skin that made the top seem pinker?), no bra, tits hanging halfway down her stomach with one nipple pointing toward Chicago and the other nipple pointing to toward Kansas City. She was bobbing her head like a damn turkey and making it obvious that she was eye-raping me. This caused all three of my testicles to crawl into my stomach and hide.

When she was about five feet in front of me, she said "Hey heyyyy wassup?" and continued to look at me as though I would be the main course after her skrimps and hot sauce platter. I froze. The look I gave her was complex. It was equal parts of:

1) Disgust
2) Terror
3) Disbelief
4) Offense
5) Contempt
6) You just turned me into a homosexual just by speaking to me

Before I knew it or could help it, the words "Oh my sweet Jesus" escaped my lips. Then I involuntarily shook my head and kept walking; the disgust and contempt plainly still visible on my face. Knowing she was the target of my face, she said this to me as I walked by:

Whatevah man. You ain't nevah NOT no nuthin!

Yeah. You ain't never not no nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, I believe I have just discovered the world's first triple negative sentence. Or would it be a quadruple negative? It's so hard to tell! I wish I'd had a camera or a tape recorder for it. Just like Bigfoot, no one will ever believe me.

So getting back to what I first said, I found it very difficult not to be judgemental or elistist with her. Her and her words still haunt me, and I can't help believing that I'm far superior to her in every way.



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